My most sincere apologizes to my stalkers on my blog slacking. I know what you're thinking. This girl was on a roll with her postings, then she fell off the blog earth. And you are correct. Between working my tail off into the dark of night doing peoples hair, and planning/attending wedding events, I haven't had the time to be silly/funny/outrageous. It has been a time for maturity, responsibility, and of course concentration, considering I've been self-diagnoised with ADHD. However, I am over that and back onto being the comedian I am.
My mother will either laugh her ass off at this or try to give me one of those straight punches to the face she does after I tell you this little story of one of her many workings. For those who know her well, you will apppreciate this. My mother...she is a smart cookie. I tell you what, she has got her own system and it works efficiently. Plus, she is the only one who benefits from it.
This past Sunday, after attending church, my little sister, Sydney, (there is a picture of her on the first post,) is driving my mother banana sandwich for some Scholastic Books from her school. My mother, with that deceiving mind of hers, comes up with the most brilliant plan in the world. She cons my innocent baby sister into cleaning the house for money to buy her own books. Better yet, this woman has no job and no money. (I realize to all you mothers, she is a full-time, stay-at-home mom, but lets cut the bull for once and for all. There are millions of mothers who have "real" jobs with an income and are a full-time mother. I'm just gonna throw that out there!) Back to my storytellling now.....I think about this for a moment, and realize WOW! She has got us all tricked. Then I turned to my daddy and ask, "So, you're paying Sydney to clean the house? I remember when you just made us clean the house." My dads reply, "No, Ashtyn, I am not paying her to clean our house." I look at him with a smile and a smart-ass tone and say, "Ohh, but I think you are. Where is mom getting the money to pay her? You! And you know what else, she is the smartest person in this house. Not only is she not working and earning the income to pay Sydney to clean, but she is getting out of cleaning."
That, my friends, is how it's done. Round of applause to Rhonda Gardner.