Saturday, January 30, 2010

It ain't fly to lie!!

With lies you may get ahead in the world - but you can never go back.  ~Russian proverb

When you stretch the truth, watch out for the snapback.  ~Bill Copeland

I decided with this whole blog thing, I wouldn't dare "babble" about anything unless I felt inspired. Tonight, my friend Jennie Pate and I rented a movied called "The Invention of Lying." Which was a total BOO!!! We got through about 20 minutes of it. All anyone would do is tell the truth (which I truly recommend). Except for the guy named Mark. He decided to lie about everything that would get him exactly what he wanted. Money. The job he was fired from. The girl who was out of his league.  Blah, blah, and one more effing blah. Typical, typical guy. Why do guys lie to get their way and manipulate girls? Well, we dont have the answers nor the time, do we ladies? We then decided to turn this yawn movie off. (I would rather walk in Abercrombie and Fitch and listen to the disturbingly loud techno music not being able to hear my own thoughts, while getting sprayed in the face every 4 seconds by their 5 different fragances.) We then turn to Lifetime, not by my choice, sorry Jennie, don't defriend me, I'm only be HONEST. Thus, the reason I'm writing this post. Not to mention the reason I hate most guys. ( They are liars!! Sorry, that was past frustration coming back to surface). The movie on is called "Lying to be Perfect." At this time I'm thinking holy macaroni. Lying. People lie all the time. Do people not realize eventually the truth comes out. And eventually, it will kick you in the brown eye. For those who are slow....the brown eye is better recognized as your butthole. Anyway. Back to lying. My advice to everyone is......drum roll, please....everyone open your time you think "Ohh hey, I think I'm just gonna lie." Don't do it. You may hurt someone's feelings but at least you know you didn't lie. That alone should make you feel like a whole new person. And maybe, just maybe, it will be the beginning of good things to come. Speaking of good things to come....I finally got a "big girl" bed. I'm just waiting for my "big girl" mattresses to get here so the outter 3 inches will be filled in. This full size mattress in my queen wood frame isn't exactly working out. But that's another blog and this Pink Truck is making me tired.....Stay fly, don't lie.

Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing had happened.  ~Winston Churchill

Always tell the truth.  If you can't always tell the truth, don't lie.  ~Author Unknown


Friday, January 29, 2010

The Seven Wonders of My World

I know what you're thinking, I've been asked the same questions all my life. Are ya'll brothers and sisters? The answer is YES! Do ya'll have the same mom and dad? The answer is YES! Are ya'll Catholic? The answer is NO!! Including myself, those people are the Seven Wonders of My World. I intend on telling you a little something about each one of them. We may look alike but we are different in our own way.

I will start with the oldest. Her name is Tara Lynne, and she is 26 years old. She is "Mama Tara." She will go visit my parents and instead of relaxing she becomes Hitler giving orders. "Clean your room, make your bed, put your clothes up, take them hangers downstairs." Which I think is hilarious considering my parents both say they've gotten too old to care and they keep asking Tara to finish raising the remaining four children. I would be very against it, however, considering we share a two bedroom apartment with one bathroom.

Im the second oldest. I am 24 years old and Im very spoiled by Tara. She cooks me dinner and touches my forehead whenever I feel I have a fever. (Which happens quite offen, but shes assures me I feel just fine.) You will learn more about me and my every thought as this blog continues. So lets carry on shall we.....

Bub, bubbles, crazy Bud boy, whatever you want to call him. Is the entertaining one. He sings. He dances. He mocks people. He is the guy who makes everyone laugh. He tells everyone we are twins but I guess since we look the most alike and are only 14 months apart we are quailified for the title. By the way, you would think my parents would use some form of contraception at this point.

Five years later, the parents got pregnant once more with their "Love Child," their words, not mine. Not to mention I'm super glad my gag reflexes are not intact right now. Meredith Christy, like my father says, has a dynamic personality. She is the funniest person I've ever met. She always always has something clever to say back to someone. She is a singer and a dancer as well. I don't know where they get their dancing from, but my dad has been known to come in from a long day of work singing or whistling. Meredith just turned 18 and is getting ready to graduate. (Grown!! Is what she refers to herself as. She doesnt know what grown is until she gets a real job and pays some bills!) She plans to go to Culinary School in August and I can't wait. She is going to be hired by me to be my personal chef. I hope getting paid in haircuts will work for her grown tail!

My parents decided they were going to name the last boy after my grandfather Avery. So his name ended up being Avery Clayton Christian Gardner 4th. I think I need a nap after saying all that. Anyways, he is the unusual child. He turned 16 in September, took his driving test and failed. And says he isnt taking it again. I swear he is gonna be 30 and still living with my parents and they will still be driving him around. When my dad asks if there is any girls he likes or he thinks is cute...he walks right out of the room. He eats one thing at a time, patting it back together around the edges then across the top until its gone. He is either not talking or the loudest one in the room. I haven't figured this little boy out yet.

Next came another girl. Surprise, surprise! Well my dad was. He wanted all boys. So we gave Alex the boy name. Okay, its really Alexandria Alise, she is 12 and she is the whiner. She wants this, she wants that, she's bored, she's hungry, she wants a cell phone, she wants facebook,  she wants, she wants, and she wants. Personally, I think she needs a muzzle so she will shut the front door. Seriously, I think she has whined since she left my mothers virginia. She is the perfect example of a pre-teen a-hole.

Sydney Ellen, is the last and final egg to hatch. She is 10 years old and wants to be a vet. She has already declared she is an Animal Rights Activists. My mom found a flier one day about her starting a club in our upstairs gameroom with our address and telephone number. They are just mistreated animals for crying out loud. Bless her heart, she is gonna change the world someday.

Whoop!! Here it is!

On your mark. Get set. Go! It's finally time for my blog to begin. I've been contemplating for about 2 weeks now what I was even going to call this desire of mine. I asked around to friends and family and what they thought I should name my blog. I was pretty much set after much deliberation, I don't care what other people want me to call it or what they like or what they don't like. I've never been the person to care about others perception of me. (My mother happens to tell me numerous times a week "I'm the captain of my own ship.") Therefore, I finally came to the realization that I'm a cosmetologist (hence the cuttin' part), and Im letting it rip with talking about whatever comes to my precious mind (hence the loose part).  Ps. My friend, Misty, actually thought of it. I will share the joy with her.